Peanut Butter & Awkward Sandwiches

There really is nothing better to hit the spot, in my opinion: gooey protein-enriched peanut paste topped with sugary-sweet grape jam. As a matter of fact, every time someone asks me the one food that I would eat for the rest of my life, it’s not even a question: PB&J.

During this particular preparation of my sandwich delicacy, I noticed a young fella standing on my PB&J turf. I assumed that he was waiting for something to pop out of the toaster, because that was the only thing in the general vicinity of the PB&J Station (self-proclaimed) and he certainly wasn’t waiting for me.

I went to town on my sandwich, feverishly spreading a thick layer of peanut butter onto the fluffy slices of wheat bread I’d so carefully selected (and by “carefully selected”, I mean grabbing the first two slices of bread that I could find). Meanwhile, the young man looked on at me, almost as if the concoction that I was creating were some sort of culinary extravaganza.  

After several moments of awkward glances, he spoke up.

“Vegetarian?” he said as he looked onto my tray, which contained only a small salad.

“Oh, no!” I replied. “I just really like PB&J.”

“Oh. Well, I just didn’t see any meat on your tray,” he countered.

“I’m on my way to get it,” I said, nodding over in the direction of the meaty soups and deli line.

“Oh.”

And that was essentially the end of our short-lived relationship at the PB&J Station. I awkwardly walked away, whilst he awkwardly continued to wait for his toast. It was awkward.

I can’t help but wonder what kind of a mind-blowing epic conversation we would have gotten into had I said I was a vegetarian. I suppose being a carnivore means I must deal with the consequences of being absolutely lame. 

“Oh.”

Dang.