Settling

WE ARRIVED IN SAN FRANCISCO LAST NIGHT, after one of the most significant drives to date—or during my lifetime, for that matter. The scenery from Portland, trailing through Oregon and blurring to Northern California, the Redwood Forest, and coastline was invaluable. We took Route 101 and saw age-old trees, astounding in size and humble beauty. Moving forth left no question of our own size, as we were towered by cliffs and river valleys while rolling along a road marked into the sides of mountains proclaiming their magnitude. Then driving through the sweeps of forest-spangled inclines spanning south to Sonoma, wine country, as sunshine sweated over clean parallels of leaves, branches, grapes. Just beautiful.

When the miles started to tick down—Eureka, Petaluma, San Rafael, Sausalito—we readied ourselves for the entrance. And as we drove around the final corner, and I saw the Golden Gate ahead, well—it was the best kind of bliss. That moment was perfect. We drove across, windows down, music loud, feeling free and new and alive! So alive. I couldn’t believe where I was or how I’d arrived, but nothing could have been better. A quick doodle down Lombard and we arrived at Union Street—”home.”

Today I took on the city, or attempted to. The best thing right now is there’s no itenerary. I left the building this morning with not a single plan or direction, and ended the day quite the same. Spontanaeity is a beautiful thing. I was lost, tired, scared at times. I feel powerless and insiginificant here, but I know better. I try to walk with conviction, even though I have no idea what corner I need to turn next. This is the happiest uncomfortable experience of my life.

There is so much opportunity in this entire endeavor, the problem is I don’t know how or where to begin. I need work, and experience. I’m so happy, but I’m so, so scared. I’m nervous. I want to turn around, but I’m going to keep marching. This place is made for realizations. That’s why I came.

Tomorrow will be much the same, with a little less fear. Beginnings are scary, but I crossed the Golden Gate into this city in the most perfect way. The ripples from that moment will spread, eventually.