GROCERY GABBLE //
A scruffy looking man in late 40’s, short, stocky, wearing a dirty Harley Davidson t-shirt approaches my lane with a heaping cart of ground beef, steaks, several gallons of chocolate milk, potato chips and cheesy delights, many cans of various beans and other gas-inducing sustenance.
STORE MANAGER: With all that chocolate milk, you should just get a chocolate cow!
SCRUFFY: No kiddin’. How in the hell does it cost an extra dollar to add chocolate to the milk? Jesus.
MANAGER: No’ kiddin’.
SCRUFFY: Well if someone would kill the damn kids and wife I wouldn’t have to buy it.
(Awkward, uncomfortable laughs from nearby associates)
SCRUFFY: I need myself a young, pretty little thing like this one (nods toward me)
ME: Hahahahahahahahaha! (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!)
SCRUFFY: I bet you spend all day curling your hair. How much did’ja have to drink to get your hair that curly?
ME: Well, it’s natural. So I didn’t have to drink to get it like this.
SCRUFFY: Well, that’s a shame.
ME: Yeah…
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