Click the poster for more details and to view it as it’s posted on the site, http://www.positive-posters.com. You can “Like it” if you want, and it might increase my chances of sending it to print…!
(While you’re there, check out the other positive posters, too!)
xo
j
In 2006, my freshman year of college, my mom sent me a clipping with this message:
A big, bad post to come soon of everything that is life_
I’ve been a little lax on true updates, this will change.
SO LAST NIGHT I’M SITTING IN MY CAR, parked in my driveway behind my apartment/garage/house thing (I’m not even sure what I’m living in). It was 12:30 a.m. and there was a party in full swing at the house next door. As I’m talking on the phone, a gaggle of freshie girls (I know they’re fresh by their attire and/or hair crimpings) storms outside for a smoke break/gossip session (“No, Austin likes you.” “And then I got this text from him that was like, like, like…”) and started getting dangerously close to my car. The best part was, they didn’t know I was sitting in the car. Also, they were apparently too drunk to notice (!)
Anyhow, the weren’t doing anything seriously wrong other than being A) Loud and 2) RIDICULOUSLY DRAMATIC! So I rolled with it. I mean, I was a Freshman ONCE and I know the debauchery that it entails. But I could sense that something not cool was going to happen, and so kept an eye on the babes and their bitch-asses.
Things were cool until one of the freshie girls, Blondie McBladder, strolled over to MY LAWN (as in, the lawn of my apartment/garage/house thing where I’m currently living and paying rent toward the upkeep of the grasses that surround said living quarters), YANKED DOWN HER SHORTS (two inches of cloth? Can you call them shorts? Judges?) SQUATTED and began to URINATE ON MY LAWN. MY lawn!
My instinct was, of course, to protect my lawn. So I stopped my phone conversation mid-sentence, threw open the car door and…
ME: (to peeing drunk girl) ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING THAT RIGHT NOW?!???!
DRUNK GIRL PEEING ON MY LAWN: What! I didn’t know you were in the car!
ME: SERIOUSLY??!
DGPOML: Where’m I supposed to do it?
ME: ON YOUR OWN LAWN!!!! (Points next door to party house)
(DGPOML quickly pulls up “shorts,” and before I could add, “…OR IN A TOILET!!!” she flies away with her gaggle of friends, never to return…yet.)
Three cheers for being assertive. Also, a shout out to my mother for raising me right…
I just heard three resonances from different areas of the room and they feel the same all around. It’s like wildfire; wrapping up school, growing mature. If not now, when?
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I walked past a couple passionately making out in the middle of the sidewalk, it was supremely awkward, but in reality I have no idea.
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Feeling better today, sugar?
Where did it go…
Hey, been tryin’ to call but I just got home
Got a great glass hanging lamp and ends with someone
who just decided you and I gotta get out of here.
Speaking of which, I couldn’t have said it better myself. I heard it
in a new song and I feel the same. There’s a heat wave still at work, darlin’, and
the lemon tree is going to break, a sweet thang I saw on the way has
big plans for tonight and as quickly as she drove
into my life
she was gone.
Of course, good luck with the fun times.
approximatelyes.com 