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I ran across this article on Thought Catalog, and realized that in just seven short months I will be a quarter-century old. While I don’t necessarily see this as a checklist, it certainly puts into perspective the possibilities my age presents, and the small tangents and experiences that are influential to the future.


I’ve bolded what I know — or feel — that I’ve accomplished.




1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.


2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.


3. Minimize your passivity.


4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.


5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.

6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.

7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.


8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
*Additionally, walk away from your phone every once in a while. It’s okay — things can wait.


9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.


10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.


11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.


12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.


13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.


14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.


15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.


16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.


17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.


18. Stop hating yourself.


19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.


20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.


21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.


22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.

23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Come home when you start to miss it.

24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.


25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.

Big Debbie,  24 June 2012

I went to the corner bodega tonight and bought this — Double Decker Oatmeal Creme Pie, or Big Debbie as I like to call it. They were my favorite in grade school, I could eat the whole box until my stomach disagreed with me. My mom would never buy them, so I had to get my fix at a good friend’s house after school, which probably made them all the more desirable.

Big Debbie stands for a lot of things — nostalgia, happiness, no cares. I don’t think I’ve had one in a good five years at least, but today seemed like a good day to return to it. A fresh, sealed box on the factory pastry shelf, I ripped into the cardboard and put down 75 cents, a done deal.

I ate Big Debbie so fast, there was no time to change my mind. I ate it out of exhaustion and sadness and longing. I ate it like a crime, a race, a repentance.

I am beginning to feel lost.

“One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out all along.”