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| Empty Space with Chandelier, Grand Central Station |
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| Main Concourse at Night, Grand Central Station |
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| Window Display, Louis Vuitton — Fifth Avenue |
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| Horse Mosaic, 57th Street Metro Station |
Leaning over into a shoulder, sighs steeped in comfort, the warm threads of a t-shirt. No qualms about the lost time, no words for a long while, just rolling forward along Jersey tracks. Brooklyn scenes and Coney Island dreams, Manhattan streets weaved into our shoes, taupe sands, calm hands, and back to the land you flew.
Four and a half months and it still doesn’t feel real!
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| An Afternoon at Sunny Prospect Park — Sunday 13 May 2012. |
Happy 29th Mother’s Day to my very fabulous mother, who has shaped me in so many ways!
WTHIB: the where-the-heck-i’ve-been edition
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I went to Long Island City, incredible waterfront views of Manhattan abound…
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| My fantastic fellow North Dakotan friend Mitch came to visit from LA, and we enjoyed delicious crêpes at the delightful Café Henri in Long Island City
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| Mitch & Chi in DUMBO |
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| Chi’s the best |
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| Adam came to visit — always a welcomed visitor |
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| I saw the hilarious David Sedaris perform a reading at BAM in Brooklyn |
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| I went to the Project Runway-famed Mood Fabrics in the Garment district, where I was super inspired by all of the patterns, textures, colors and kinds of fabric. |
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| Finally — I WENT BLONDE.
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Time for a much-needed weekend!
xo
j
the good fight
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| A reminder that went off on my phone today— I set it months ago. |
Today has been what feels like one of the most bittersweet days of my life. After six years of college, today was supposed to be the day that I walked across the stage at Minnesota State University Moorhead to accept the diploma that embodies all of my work. Summa Cum Laude. It has been a long time coming, and believe me, I thought about today for a long time.
There is a story why I didn’t walk across the stage today, one that has caused me much anger, sadness and frustration. It initially involved myself, one liberal arts credit short of the prerequisite, and 43 superfluous credits to bargain with. Throughout the past month and half I’ve reached out to numerous faculty members and administration to seek what should have been a simple appeal, my efforts tiring and fruitless. I went to the Dean. I went to the President. I went to the Provost with two letters of support from faculty members. Then I went back to the President. With the exception of two professors, no administrator believed in my case enough to support my plea.
I have to hold back tears when I think of this, because I tried so hard. I tried and exhausted my heart, and still all of my fervid beliefs fell short. I think any corner of one’s mind that is filled with hatred is a corner wasted, and I have tried to file this case under “bad luck.” But I can’t deny that I am bitter, I am sad, and I am hurt by what has happened. I am jolted by the reality, that an institution could deny a hardworking, longtime student with a valid appeal and a handful of qualified courses, and that they could turn that student around to take a less-applicable 100-level class in order to graduate. I never wanted to hear myself think these words, but I feel like the system has failed me.
If there is a truth that I’ve learned from this process, it’s what I believe is worth fighting for. I don’t believe in my entire life that I’ve ever truly had to fight for something. Not “fighting” in the sense of beating your roommate to the shower in the morning, or winning a game of bowling, but really fighting. Putting your greatest efforts into something you wholeheartedly stand behind, and pressing your beliefs upon any opposing forces until the battle is won. I know this won’t be the last time in my life I’ll have to exercise these efforts, but win or lose, I have the choice to keep my head held high.
In the end I can never truly feel bad for myself, because I had the privilege of attending college in the first place, something many people never experience. Walking across the stage would have been the icing on the cake, but it didn’t happen. Instead I am forced to take an expensive summer course and graduate afterward. All things considered, I’ll be left with six years of knowledge and a piece of paper that will come in the mail, eventually—one that I didn’t receive in a cap and gown, or with a handshake, but in my mind, in an office, in New York City.
I am so thankful for how far I’ve come.
“One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out all along.”
—Alain de Botton
I never panic when I get lost. I just change where it is I want to go.
— Rita Rudner
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